An Emotional Midnight

Assalamualaikum wbt. Hi. 

I will be back to Tawau this coming Saturday. I believe I am so ready to be back. It is just typical of me being unstable emotion few days before the day and let's just call it as far-away-from-home-soon syndrome. I've been facing the reality of being far from home like for years since highschool then to uni then up until now I am working far far far away from home. It's just typical me swallowing the reality with sorrows and tears. 

I should be used to it since I was and still is living far from home. And here I am, fighting with my own thoughts. The distance really hates me to be close by my Mom's eyes. Such a jealousy!

Amazingly, how bad the syndrome can be, I still can manage to collect my energy and courage to pack my things and being totally rational even my heart is screaming to make me stop and stay. Like I said, at this time my mind is really functioning well lol.

The truth is, it is not that I hate what I am doing, what work I am responsible to carry, where I work, how will life bring me to unexpected rainbows and hurricanes. I literally love my job and all. It is just being far from home is indeed so sad :(

I am a home person and family is my genuine pills to stay sane and happy. No other place can make me so happy like how my family can do by just simply to know they are home and it must have Mama in it. That is home that I always feel sad to be far from 💔

I am not hating my life. I am just, sad. 

And you know, being sad is the only way to escalate the happiness in you by overcoming it with something you love and everything you're passionate about. 

The other thing that made me classically emotional is, to realise every kids at home is growing up so fast. Where all the times gone?😭 Started from Abang Ary to Baby Ameena. Mami Lala, she'll be lonely without kids messing around and very noisy with Mami Lala here, Mamli Lala there, Mami Lala look, Mami Lala this, Mami Lala that and on and on and on non stop unless they are sleep. 

I love it when the ask for my attention, I love it when they preferred to sleep with me, I love it when they are searching for me when I am out of their sight, I love it when they so excited to know "Mami Lala will he home".

I am being too emotional at this midnight, to know one of the facts of being adult is, the kids will be no more doing my favourite things like mentioned above.

That is okay, life goes on :)

Here is me with Abang Ary both in black-whitehealds remover masks. Ary is the first grandchild in the family ❤️

That's it. Thank you for reading. Until next time 🐳