I'm sorry, this is another heart break story.
Bismiilah. Assalamualaikum wbt.
I've stopped being a lover.
Again.
I hope I can heal fast. Amiin.
Think of it, I pray to Allah for giving me the signs. I pray to Allah for best love story, I pray to Allah if he's the one then he'll stay. Then this thing, happened. My heart is bleeding, my heart is wounded again. It hurts.
But then again, think of it. Allah get me through this path, heart broken, Allah SWT let me met a man who didn't want to stay, a man who chose to push me away. While I was so in love and was hoping he'll change his mind but he decided to say no. I am still in denial. I am still in so much pain that I can't stop crying.
But then again, think of it.
Again.
This is the answer to my du'a, this is the answer to my istikharah, Allah SWT just showed me.
Think of it again Zafirah,
Don't you think this is the best? subhanAllah. You prayed for this (and still praying). inilah jawapannya, Tuhan tunjuk terus yang dia bukanlah orangnya. Allah SWT tunjuk, you deserve better. Isn't this exciting?, Allah SWT is protecting you.
Ya Allah, this is beautiful. Aaaa ya Allah what do You keep there in store for me? I wonder. Haha.
I might be having hard times healing from this pain. But surely will move on, a step at a time.
Just remember, you are not a loser for not choosing to give up first. And, you actually don't lose anything, because you already done your best even you asked for second thought just in case he'll change his mind, but nope. It is what it is. He doesn't want you to be his destiny, he doesn't want you to be the end game. Ouch that hurts kan?. He doesn't want, so what else you can do?, nothing. He chose to give up. And that's out of your control. So, yes. Mana boleh paksa orang.
Even if you think you lose something (I swear he was so fine - ya lah kalau tidak cukup fine mana mungkin boleh jatuh cinta kan?), always remember that "everything you lose is a step you take".
Let's live life to the fullest, be kind to yourself and be better in your life Zafirah.
Remember, you love yourself first before him. People throw rocks at things that shine kan?. We still can keep the whole room shimmer even without him. Better one is coming, kalau bukan di dunia di akhirat pasti.
Let's focus on yourself, let's finish strong your studies, let's perform umrah, let's travel the world and let's achieve more with your students, they need you. Chin up Ustazafirah!.
Don't let this tragedy dim your passion. Healing really takes time. You decide your happiness.
Rugi gila dia let go kau, biar padan muka haha!. Joke aside. I respect his choice while I tried to fix things. He chose to let go, so I can slowly to do so too.
So, that's my another series of heartbreak story.
I am giving my heart a break now.
Doakan saya sembuh lekas ya :)
18 June 2023 (Gloomy Sunday).
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