aHappyWhale🐳

 Bismillah. Assalamualaikum wbt. Hi. Satu hari tu, aku bangun pagi dan melimpasi cermin almari. Aku berhenti, memerhati setiap tekstur kulit wajah aku. Alhamdulillah, for me it's flawless (read again, for me). I smiled, what a sweet smile I have. I looked at my eyes, subhanAllah my eyes can see and it's almost dark brown in colour. Beautiful, thank you so much for these ya Allah. They're beautiful for me (read again, for me). My skin so nice, my hair's flowy, my skin tone's perfect for me (read again, for me) and ya Allah, for me, I'm beautiful!. I stared at the girl in the mirror deeply.   "Cantik dan baik macam ni pun orang boleh lari dan sanggup khianati?" Cis. I want to have a boyfriend ya Allah, I need one (haha) like the other. Their relationship work, and not for me? But, wait... the girl in the mirror as if talking back to me. This girl has been through a lot in her love life. But she woke up this morning feeling so light. Her heart doesn't...

Bismillah. Sesak dadaku wahai Tuhanku. Lemas jiwaku dibelenggu benci, pilu dan kenapa aku? Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari semua semak dan luka hatiku, Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari semua sengketa sangkaan-sangkaanku, Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari darah dan air mata perasaanku, Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari deraan emosi dan fikiranku, Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari pertikaian lancarnya kisah kasih mereka,  tapi mengapa tidak pada jalanku? Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari segala pembohongan dan tersalah percaya. Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari meragui rencana-rencanaMu Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari kesedihan-kesedihan yang memudar senyum dan tawaku. Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, dari letih yang membunuhku. Bebaskanku wahai Tuhanku, untuk kembaliku bersimpuh, menadah dan menaruh, agar sepenuhnya dapatku sembuh. Amiin, ya Tuhanku. Allah Yang Satu.

  Assalamualaikum wbt. Hey. It's been a year and plus plus already since the day I was dumped. I still hate it to be honest, and that's so annoying. I've moved on greatly, alhamdulillah. And that's true, by hating it makes it doesn't hurt.  Awal-awal tu kononnya mahu sembuh dengan kedamaian, will not hate the person, will just  forgive and forget slowly then easily, crying to calm sadness and the feeling of being betrayed, blaming myself, texted the person again, begged to work things out again. Stalked the person on social media, still saved the person's number and all, masih berharap yada yada because I just couldn't hate that person because deep in side, I still want the person to be my man AT THAT TIME. But, nope all of that didn't work. So, one day I prayed hard to Allah SWT. Ya rabb, show me something obvious so that can be one solid reason to "hate" that person since I thought that was the only way to shut this person out of my mind and ...

  Assalamualaikum wbt. Hi. Welcome to my life drama ladies and gentlement. Haha! My ex is married. Haha. What actually to react over this news?.  Honestly, I have mixed feelings of happy, confused, sad, regret and bitter. But on top of that, I am so happy and relieved. He found his soulmate and I can't be more happier to see someone I ever known happy. He surely cut me off and I totally understand that. I hope it's okay to feel little bit sad and bitter since I am only human. But tears over someone's cheers is not how it should be. And I am not here writing this post to mourn my heart out. It's just.. It's honestly triggered my loneliness :') Maybe it'll less pain when I am with someone now.  Maybe I'll not care much when I have someone in my heart now.  Maybe I'll be 100% happy when I am firmed and  healed from my previous relationship... now. How actually to react when you just knew your ex is married already?.  Soal maaf dan berdamai dengan takdir...

 Assalamualaikum wbt. Henlow marshmellow! I would say that my heart was like a doughnut after experiencing a terrible broke up. You know it, it has a hole in it.  I woke up every morning with a hole in my heart,  something the best I ever known just went missing,  someone took it away harshly from me that the hole felt so unpleasant to bear. Exactly like this.  Time takes time to heal it. So, I let myself pity myself. I let myself emphaty myself. Sometimes I feel okay, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like I already get over it, but sometimes my head just full with it. Sometimes I thought I've positively moved on, but sometimes I went back to zero in progress of moving on. Sometimes simple things made me crafted the smiles, but sometimes my tears drop on my pillow that every night I cried. Just like a doughnut, my heart was exactly like that.  A piece of it is just meant to be taken away to make the whole point of what it's actually meant to be. That...

Bismillahirrahmannirrohiim. Assalamualaikum wbt. Hi, there. Moving on was always easy for me. But this one, it hits different. I gave myself a week to grieve over my past relationship that has been crumpled and gone. It's time to help myself and my heart to heal and feel better. So that I am here, because as far as I know, words can also comfort me best. Well the least I can do to help finding myself again :) After the love story that I designed met it's ending, I came up with another journey. I am healing. Trust me. In my case. I have two thoughts (lessons) from this heartbreak. 1.  I should put this in my concern that Allah SWT is protecting me and him from loving each other in a wrong way. And, of course Allah SWT must be keeping something best for us two even though we are not meant to be together. For each of our selves, a better future is awaiting. In shaa Allah. Amiin. 2. This is a win for me (even if I was being cheated- I am a girl dealing with a man. This kind of nega...

Bismiilah. Assalamualaikum wbt. I've stopped being a lover.  Again. The story of us ended here * nangis * I hope I can heal fast. Amiin. Think of it, I pray to Allah for giving me the signs. I pray to Allah for best love story, I pray to Allah if he's the one then he'll stay. Then this thing, happened. My heart is bleeding, my heart is wounded again. It hurts. But then again, think of it. Allah get me through this path, heart broken, Allah SWT let me met a man who didn't want to stay, a man who chose to push me away. While I was so in love and was hoping he'll change his mind but he decided to say no. I am still in denial. I am still in so much pain that I can't stop crying.  But then again, think of it.  Again.  This is the answer to my du'a, this is the answer to my istikharah, Allah  SWT just showed me.  Think of it again Zafirah, Don't you think this is the best? subhanAllah. You prayed for this (and still praying). inilah jawapannya, Tuhan tunjuk te...

  Was not a coffee drinker. Was not a fan because it's bitter. Life's so sweet for I don't need coffee to make it better. At least that what I have thought earlier. Not until I realised, Life has been hard I fell and crashed Hopeless and crumpled within whys and hows? To look back how I miss the old smiles and awes The butterflies and the flowers The scents and the colours for I was once believed everything is ours. Wilted and gone,  broken and torn. Thought you were a home, but guess I was wrong? Coffee is bitter. But life is alot more to compare. Now I finally drink coffee, so I can believe that If I can quench a cup of bitter coffee, Then I must be able to survive life.  You'll see. Zafirah Ripin,  June 13th 2023 (Tuesday) 09:59am, Kota Belud.

 Assalamualaikum wbt. Hai. Alhamdulillah, it's Ramadan 19! Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah!, still breathing fine on this holy month Ramadan that everyone loves! Ramadan ini lah bulan yang paling best sebab buat baik, rajin pegi masjid, beribadah puas-puas, reading Al Quran in public, bangun awal sebelum sahur untuk tahajjud dan menikmati detik-detik sebelum masuk waktu Subuh dengan zikir dan solat sunat semaksima yang boleh malah, pegi Speedmart beli aiskrim pakai telekung pun rasa ya Allah mudahnyaaa mahu buat semua perkara-perkara yang inidah ini! Kan? Alhamdulillah, 19 hari sudah Ramadan sikit lagi mahu habis, paling risau menjadi orang yang banyak mensia-siakan bulan Ramadan. Rugi betul perasaannya. 10 days before Ramadan ends uwaaa! mari fullblast ibadahnya bestie! I'm far from good, but I want to be one. Lillahi ta'ala Here's me and my niece(s) on our Tarawih tour (Masjid Hopping). Alhamdulillah. Milala and Anna Milala, Meen, Ayesha and Anna Milala, Ann...

Assalamualaikum wbt. Hai. Saya baru balik dari website hrmis, mahu siapkan MyPortfolio. Tapi, ikon MyPortfolio ghaib pula dari situ, so what should I do. Gigih saya ke KFC 24H untuk makan ayam goreng lepastu mahu settle-kan MyPortfolio saya tau. Jadi, saya tutup hrmis lalu ke sini :) Terimalah catatan Oktober 2022 saya... Got my hands on Khairul Aming's Sambal Nyet for the first time. Excited betul saya, one of fighters untuk mendapatkannya di shopee, kemain gigih tengok jam supaya dapat check out on time haha! Delish! Haritu nekad beli sebab tengok video harijadi Khairul Aming yang ke 30 kot hari tu. Terus rasa terharu dan mahu memberikan sokongan dengan mendapatkan sebotol sambal ini. Sedap! Makan dengan apa pun nikmat! I've discovered yang Laksa Sarawak di Fook Yuen was delicious! First try sebab craving, terus jalan-jalan di Facebook cari orang jual Laksa Sarawak, turned out, Fook Yuen Tawau ada!, terus tengahari tu aku ke situ makan Laksa Sarawak. S...

  After all, still. You weren't mine to lose. The end.

Assalamualaikum wbt hai. Cringe-nya tajuk entry! Hahaha ya ya saya tahu saya tahu sorry lah alaa bukan selalu pun khennnz. Sidang pembaca yang saya hormati sekalian, apakah itu cinta?. Amboi.  Fasa menyayangi persahabatan. As you knew, your life partner might be in your friends circle so you can't deny, who knows he might be the one? Cececeh. Fasa hati berbunga-bunga The phase you think you got the hint, but not so sure and not yet clear about it. Fasa mahukan kepastian. And, when you got it... You feel like, this one might be it and you secure him/her in your heart already wehuu. A phase where you can relate to love songs which you never did before. Name any love songs, I am the lover character in them :') - This phase could be when you can relate any relationship quotes and reading to a better relationship builing. Goshh i'm cringing! A phase where I told my friends that I don't think I am single anymore , cause he/she made you think that way. This is one...

Been in deep thought of my feelings. It comes naturally and eventually as they said. It's risky to get involved. Hate it but guess I need it? Is it really okay? Is it confirmed? Is it me? Is it you? Is it might someone behind me, that  I don't know? Who knows? It's like shuffling puzzle pieces while I'm in the middle of trying to sort things out, and to make it clear and sure. Been in deep thought of what are we. It takes me times,  It takes you times, It takes us times. Take the whole times we need. While ones should remember,  times might bring something... hurtful. So for now, 우리 사랑하지 말아요.