Posting.

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Bismillah and Asslamualaikum wbt. Hai.

29 Mei 2020, sekitar 06:15PM, aku check penempatan sekolah di e-graduan. Heboh group Taklimat Penempatan di whatsapp. Aku terkial-kial, berdebar-debar penuh pengharapan. Keputusannya...




SMK Titingan. Nama sekolah sahaja sangat tidak familiar. 
Aku rasa sudah lain macam. Aku google. Nama sekolah.: SMK Titingan, Tawau.

T . A . W . A . U

Aku teragak-agak untuk percaya. Aku check lagi. Mana tahu ada kebarangkalian SMK Titingan yang lain. Kali ini aku search kod sekolah pula. Nampak tidak betapa in denial-nya aku pada saat ini?.

Sah. Tiada SMK Titingan lain dengan kod sekolah itu. The only SMK Titingan hanya di Tawau.

Berlinangan air mata aku seperti anak rantau yang tidak dapat pulang beraya :(

Aku maklumkan kepada ahli keluarga tentang berita tergempar ini. Aku capai satu-satu kawan-kawan kepercayaan aku, aku maklumkan rakan sekerja yang terdekat, aku hebahkan segera untuk suarakan betapa sayunya keputusan penempatan aku dapat ini.

I cried out my emotional + negative thinking away. I cried so hard.
Kak Nina, baby Hud and the other anak-anak buah saw this fragile Zafirah was crying literally a river at that time. Ish.

Kota Belud - Tawau, Allahu. Hebat jaraknya. Tawau ni jadi bahan jenaka  sahaja untuk posting di sana. Aku tidak pernah serius, aku malah pernah berdoa untuk tidak mahu dilontar jauh dari keluarga aku untuk penempatan sekolah ini. Aku sungguh-sungguh doa. 

Mari hayati peta Sabah sebentar bersama-sama :

Kota Belud di mana?, Tawau di mana? :')


Tapi, demikianlah. Rancangan Tuhan yang penuh kejutan dan sarat dengan hikmah ini siapakah yang dapat menduga?.

I dont hate the result. Wallahi.
I just feel sad. I just dont't want to be separated away from my family. That's why I cried.
Untill now, I feel so heavy to imagine my life without my loved ones by my side. 

Sebab terlampau  terbiasa hidup selesa dan bersenang lenang. 
Tuhan kejutkan untuk bangun!, life is more than "bersenang-lenang dan selesa di mana kau berada". Go and seek colours to paint your life. Make it beautiful and presentable in the day of judgement. All I need to do is, be patience and do my best!. 

Lucky me to have supportive family and friends. They help me to get myself together. They help me to build faith that I am capable enough to get through this. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

I am emotionally stable now that I finally figured out how amazing my life will turn out to when I am there. I will be living a lot of new experiences, will get to know new people, new circumtances, new school, new students and the most exciting is I can explore  more and learn more!. In shaa Allah.

I wrote this in my note book years ago. Can't remember where I got it. But, it sounds like this:

I make du'a to Allah, for something I want. 
If HE gives it to me, then I'm happy once.
But, if HE doesn't give it to me
then, I am happy 10 times.
Because,
The first is my choice. 
The second one is Allah's choice.

Allah juga sebaik-baik perancang. 

Jauh sekali untuk mencela rezeki dan tidak mensyukuri sedikit pun nikmat yang diberi. 

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. Thank you ya Rabb :')

Catatan ini untuk Zafirah bertahun ke hadapan. In shaa Allah.

Tawau, 
I think I am ready.


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