Diari Latihan Mengajar Zafirah: Minggu Pertama

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Assalamualaikum hai semuanya.

Seorang pemilik blog yang lama sungguh tidak menulis sesuatu dalam blognya. Tidaklah perlu dijustifikasikan mengapa, cukuplah dengan adanya entri baharu ini untuk menceriakan hari-harimu (acah sungguh ya wanita ini kekekeke).

Seperti tajuk di atas, ya memang mahu cerita lah ni pengalaman praktikum Ustazah Zafirah yang sedu ni. Baru minggu pertama, hek ellehh mahu tulis pengalaman konon kan?. Tidak mengapalah, aku plan buat weekly update ni untuk 16 minggu latihan mengajar. Tolong lah faham, sudahlah aku ni sensorang selalu. Kurang bercakap (bersembang) tapi kalau masuk kelas pot pet pot pet ya Ustazah ni kehkeh. Bagi lah chance alaaaaah.

Hm, So, shall we start?

Ok, jom.
Ok, sebelum itu, sedikit disclaimer:
Ø  Ustazah Zafirah tu aku lah.
Ø  Aku mengajar Pendidikan Islam Tingkatan 1 dan 2.
Ø  12 Waktu seminggu semuanya.
Ø  Oh, aku mengajar sesi petang.
Ø  Aku tiada kenderaan.
Ø  Aku lapor diri awal. Sepatutnya 02 Julai 2018 tapi aku dan partner praktikumku Sarah a.k.a ustazah Syahiera telah melapor diri pada 28 June 2018 (Khamis).
Ø  Sarah mengajar sesi pagi.
Ø  Tempat tinggal sementara aku dekat sangat dengan sekolah, TAPI. Hmm, pintu utama sekolah di hulu sana, pintu pagar rumah sewa aku di pangkal sini. So, dalam 10-13mins lah berjalan. But, still ok (at least so far ok).

02 Julai 2018 (Isnin)
Ini hari pertama, officially jadi guru pelatih dan kena mengajar kelas yang telah diberi. Lagi sekali, saya mengajar sesi petang. Mesti adal di sekolah sebelum pukul 12:40PM. Hari pertama ke sekolah bersama Kak Fatin.
Kak Fatin adalah seorang guru di sekolah tempat aku praktikum ni. Bila dia free and timing dia tiada apa-apa hal, aku akan ikut beliau ke sekolah. Alhamdulillah, a blessing that I could not deny. Terima kasih kak fatin.
First day ini juga aku jumpa dengan En. Azhar merangkap Penolong Kanan Petang untuk mendapatkan jadual rasmi mengajar dan memaklumkan segala yang berkaitan dengan sekolah seperti pukul berapa kena datang sekolah?, bila kena datang awal?, mesti hantar RPH every week.
First day, of course ada perhimpunan. Perhimpunan sesi petang sekolah aku ni di buat pada hujung waktu persekolahan. Hari Isnin, 06:10PM – 06:40PM. Sebelum perhimpunan, aku mengajar. Bertemu pertama kali dengan anak-anak yang bakal menjadi kesayanganku. 1 Mulia dan 1 Sukses. Penerimaan mereka sangat baik Alhamdulillah. Mari jadi kawan baik anak-anak!.
Ok, first day, please bring extra pins/brooch. Come on cikgu, pin tercabut guys!. Ugh dari tudung style selempang terpaksa tukar ke style tudung mengaji. Masa tu rasa macam, why I don’t bring extra pins today!
I was okay at class. I think I did my bvery  best for this my very first class. But yeah, I still lost my soul. I even felt “terpaksa” to do my job. Astaghfirullah.
First day is not a happy day after all, and that’s not a good image of how my week will be come. But just let’s see how it will be.
And, I cried for my very first official day of teaching. Not cry in the school but after the school while whining and asking “ why I even wanted to be a teacher at the first place?”. I cried.

03 Julai 2018.
No other improvement. I still cry over question why I am here?, why I need to do all these?, Why I wanted to be a teacher?. Before going to cschool I cry and back from school also the same.

I opened my eyes to wake up, I cried. Allah, this is should be my moment to enjoy teaching. That once’d been my passion. I dreamt for this, but why it’s like no more left in my heart?. I just hate what I am doing.

Cry all over again.

04. Julai. 2018 (Wednesday)

Open Hous UBK.
While I am at the assembly with the pupils listening for some stuff for their Kokurikulum, tiba-tiba PK Petang datang and said, “Cikgu, pegi UBK sekarang”. I am shocked. He continued “ UBK buat open house, pegi naik, makan”.

Allahu Encik Azhar, can you make it more suspens?

Hahaha.
I enjoy hari raya, very much.
I eat nasi impit and kuah kacang pretty much hihihi.
And mee goreng.
Awkward with the teachers, nasib baik ada Sarah bersama.
But, I swear, all of the teachers are super friendly and sooo kind.
Alhamdulillah for that!.

Deep inside, I try to fight back what I have in mind.
Positively forcing myself to love what I am doing.
It’s bitter. Life is so bitter I whispered to my own ears.

Fight my heart back, please. At least for your future!

05 Julai 2018
Why I have to write when everything I feel is pain?.

I am not so into what I am doing.
I am tired.

I cry again.

06 Julai 2018
Friday.
I love it.
Ugh, but its just my first week of teaching practice.
Still have 15 weeks to end this unpleasant routines!

Please, I want everything to get into an end quickly!

See, not a beautiful week to start a first week of teaching practice. Wishing nothing but only the best for weeks ahead!





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